Dear Pale Emperor, thx for posting this, and letting all know what it is like in JW world. As many others here have testified, they have experienced the same.
I will put my two cents in here too, and say my mother sounds a lot like yours. As Wing Commander, Toes Up and JustFine have noted, "having a dead child" is a way to get attention, get love, be noticed. That's what my mom is all about.
When my family was "in", she could brag how nice her daughter was, her kids, her elder son-in-law.... but now that we have left?..... her narcissistic self has no use for us, SHE is now better than us... something she craves, yet has never had.... to be 'on top.'
I agree with them all, cut her loose, and live... make her come back to you.
hugs, cha ching